him again....

anyways, so i go out on friday and i see fred. and me and fred are talking for ages then tish is like 'lets go to le bar' and im like 'okay u go, ill meet you there later' and fred goes 'oh i'll stay with her' then tish wants to stay. we go to le bar later and again me and fred are talking and i can see and feel him looking at me. like id go somewhere and he'd want to know if i was okay or where i'd been. like i went outside the gates for a while and then i see him sprinting after me coz he thought i was leaving. we go back in, talk blah blah (actualy i talk mostly and he just listens, haha) and he says do you wanna dance and im like no. but everyone's leaving so he grabs my hand and we dance. and he's trying to dance with me like still holding my hand and my gawd the sexual energy was uncontrollable. and i cant dance with him in case i do so i move away and then some fucker tries to dance with me and fred moving behind me, tyring to get this guy to rack off and tells him to and yah.....then we all sit after the dance and i see rach come in...so i go and find her and then fred is on the dance floor by himself and he's like 'come dance, just you and me' and its 'sexual healing'...im thinking may GOd help me . dance for a little while,then i go outside and i say 2 tiish, "oi, i think i like fred" and she goes "yeah, me 2. you better not fucken touch him." and i say jokingly "yah whatever, whoever gets him will still take one for the team" and she's like 'nah, there is no team. its me and you. did u see him trying to protect me on the dance floor when we are all in there?" and im thinking "did you see him holding my hand and talking you blind fuck?!" but im like just whatever. and she's serious! i was like shit! then fred wants me to play pool with him and takes me away. and we talk again and its nearly 6am. i say i have to go and he wants to see me again and i say come to daniels at 8 tomorrow. and he asks for my number but i dont want him having it. then i leave, but forget something outside and i see him out there and he says 'oi did she get home safe? how did she go home? who took her home" and penny's gone 'she's right behind you.' and he's shamed out, but i go home.

next night, he's not out at daniels. i hit yellow sub and allt he problems start so im in a shit ass mood. then i go to le bar adn tish isn't out but her cousin is and she tells me that her, frank, rish and two other guys went around the island, drinking after i had left. and she's like 'oh yeah, u looking for frank' and im thinking, fuck this i cant do this. already people know and are gonna give me shit. and tish comes later and she's like 'i woke up at midnight.' so im thinking, so frank must have slept thru. but still dude, if he really wanted to see me, he could have woken up. and now im thinking, what if tish raped his ass?! FUCK!! and she sends me a text last night, really sneaky saying 'oh i think im in lvoe. i shoudl have hooked up with him when i had the chance around the island' and im thinking okay either a) he tried hooking up with her but knowing how stupid tish is at picking up hook up vibes and is completely blind not 2 sure b) she knows i like him and knows im loyal and wouldn't hurt her, so she's saying that so i wont touch him or c) trying to get me paranoid and not get me to hook up with him and implyig they have the thing. im trying to convince myslef he's a sleaze and only wants sex, but since jimmy im perfect at picking them up. and he doesn't do that. he wasn't touching me or trying to pick me up, just being nice and decent. and i dunno with men anymore.