him again....

anyways, so i go out on friday and i see fred. and me and fred are talking for ages then tish is like 'lets go to le bar' and im like 'okay u go, ill meet you there later' and fred goes 'oh i'll stay with her' then tish wants to stay. we go to le bar later and again me and fred are talking and i can see and feel him looking at me. like id go somewhere and he'd want to know if i was okay or where i'd been. like i went outside the gates for a while and then i see him sprinting after me coz he thought i was leaving. we go back in, talk blah blah (actualy i talk mostly and he just listens, haha) and he says do you wanna dance and im like no. but everyone's leaving so he grabs my hand and we dance. and he's trying to dance with me like still holding my hand and my gawd the sexual energy was uncontrollable. and i cant dance with him in case i do so i move away and then some fucker tries to dance with me and fred moving behind me, tyring to get this guy to rack off and tells him to and yah.....then we all sit after the dance and i see rach come in...so i go and find her and then fred is on the dance floor by himself and he's like 'come dance, just you and me' and its 'sexual healing'...im thinking may GOd help me . dance for a little while,then i go outside and i say 2 tiish, "oi, i think i like fred" and she goes "yeah, me 2. you better not fucken touch him." and i say jokingly "yah whatever, whoever gets him will still take one for the team" and she's like 'nah, there is no team. its me and you. did u see him trying to protect me on the dance floor when we are all in there?" and im thinking "did you see him holding my hand and talking you blind fuck?!" but im like just whatever. and she's serious! i was like shit! then fred wants me to play pool with him and takes me away. and we talk again and its nearly 6am. i say i have to go and he wants to see me again and i say come to daniels at 8 tomorrow. and he asks for my number but i dont want him having it. then i leave, but forget something outside and i see him out there and he says 'oi did she get home safe? how did she go home? who took her home" and penny's gone 'she's right behind you.' and he's shamed out, but i go home.

next night, he's not out at daniels. i hit yellow sub and allt he problems start so im in a shit ass mood. then i go to le bar adn tish isn't out but her cousin is and she tells me that her, frank, rish and two other guys went around the island, drinking after i had left. and she's like 'oh yeah, u looking for frank' and im thinking, fuck this i cant do this. already people know and are gonna give me shit. and tish comes later and she's like 'i woke up at midnight.' so im thinking, so frank must have slept thru. but still dude, if he really wanted to see me, he could have woken up. and now im thinking, what if tish raped his ass?! FUCK!! and she sends me a text last night, really sneaky saying 'oh i think im in lvoe. i shoudl have hooked up with him when i had the chance around the island' and im thinking okay either a) he tried hooking up with her but knowing how stupid tish is at picking up hook up vibes and is completely blind not 2 sure b) she knows i like him and knows im loyal and wouldn't hurt her, so she's saying that so i wont touch him or c) trying to get me paranoid and not get me to hook up with him and implyig they have the thing. im trying to convince myslef he's a sleaze and only wants sex, but since jimmy im perfect at picking them up. and he doesn't do that. he wasn't touching me or trying to pick me up, just being nice and decent. and i dunno with men anymore.

fred

visa is fucked, im going on a tourist visa, cant be bothered to get into detail but it should be good. um.... so i go out and i see this guy who looks hot, but not. like he's just very strange looking. looks sorta asian but black but not and he's got so much sex appeal. i dont think anything of it, you know how your like oh yeah hot guy, but thats it. anyways, a week later, i end up talking to him, and he's so sexy adn awesome. his name's fred and he's half white, half hawaiin, and he's got sexy eyes, but he's 18. like he kinda mumbles when he talks and when he looks at you, he looks at you from the side and he wears real bush kanaka clothes man (like thongs, old necklace, worn-out jacket, dirty shorts, haha) but there's something about him man. so im like, hmmmm hes fly...and then i go outside and he's there and we keep chit chatting (and its good that he doesn't talk much, coz we just sit there and its really comfortable, like no need to be superficial or explain anything) and this black idiot with broken sunglasses tries to touch me. and then fred fought for me. like he didn't actually get into a fight, but he fought for me you know? like 'dont touch her' and protected me and then this guy finally fucked off. and then fred didn't talk about it again, just sat down. then said bye and left. and he didn't try to be a hero or you know like hit on me. then i went out again and he was there. (hangs out with all the ni-vans too by the way!) he told penno (this chick, u havent met her) that i was really pretty and cool. hehe. but he didnt talk much when i was there and was like 'im tired, im going home'. and just left. drives me crazy. and hot. this is NOT GOOD! he is probably a player, i always want the ones i cant get. so im gonna be a bit wary and suss him out, but whoo.....he's so fine man, so sexy....but weird.

gossip

i didnt tell liz bout americano she was on a downer from a pill and i didn't want you jumping off the balcony. your story would have been told to future schoolies. i toldthem to tell her in the arvo. but dont worry, i told martin to tell him he was a prick and to never touch you again. (i hope he didn't...did you see him again?) talkin bout martin, the wank keeps texting and emailing me, its nuts. i told him yesterday thru email that i wasn't interested. honestly, we had fun, but he aint my type. too fucken skinny. haha. why do i get involved with either complete assholes or obsessive maniacs? oh saw nick, he's got a girl and every time he tries to talk to me, i literally completley ignore him. im polite but answer with yes or no, dont get further. makes me sick. shit i miss you. anyways yes sue and james. its not the fact that he's with rizzo now, just the fact that he said he never felt anything for her adn basically told her to get fucked in front of rizzo. who by the way is so ugly and literally no one likes her, why couldnt he go for someone more decent? but i respect them for sorting it out with sue , but it wasn't necessary, the point is james cheated on rizzo with sue but he's too ashamed to admit it. fucker. oh and matilda looks so HOT! she's 64kg and 5 months pregnant. im gonna help take care of the kids for the next month. and mikayla is good, so much happier. im having a pretty good time ay......been out almost every night, i had to retreat to the beach house to detox and clean myself up. rachel reckons she's gonna stop drinking, big thing happened last week cant be bothered explaining, but it was the last straw, so she's all depressed adn in shock. but im having a great time. hanging out with nicolas heaps (he was asking when conchita coming back, saying he cant believe how hot she was, freak) and he got with lolita but wasn't too into her. im just chilling ay, no joke, went out once by myself, had the best time of my life! im just trying to enjoy myself as much as possible, coz chanelle is depressed (but says she's fine, but will bring up the topic every 5 mins) so im hanging with all the older white people, then chill out with random tourists (met some awesome peeps), to the younger french and english population, literally wanting to be with whoever as long as they give me a good time. i dont care right now. oh and harriet lost her virginity here with some old french guy....felt so bad about it though...

schoolies

oh my god having the best time ever, meeting so many people, getting so wasted and having some good times BUT i miss you like a mother fucker! rash and i got pissed the other night and literally spent an hour talking about how much we both miss you, almost broke down. ohhhhh i have one thing to say to you: im gonna win the $100 bet heheheheheheh i was right your gonna marry someone like bushkanaka boy hehhehehehe im gonna be rich! but seriously watch him, suss him out but dont be too critical if you find out something and dont let it cloud your judgement, also dont be to distant and dont put up huge barriers, just go with the flow and if he turns out to be an ass get out of there and fucking run. but i have a feeling about this one he like the perfect guy for you: doesnt talk, fights for you hmmmmmm. im so excited!!! but by the time you get this email you will probablly hate him lol, hope not, hope it works. oi went online got my op, op 6, its ok not exactly thrilled but you know me im never satified with my results, i had honestly forgotten about ops until mum started nagging me. oh well boring lets see whats my goss? sue is complaining that she has too many descisions to make: sojmething about her getting the scholarship and getting offered another job at some construction firm, damn bitch has her life sorted i swear. also sam is in love with her so cute yet so pathetic: its like in the movies and the guy loves the girl but he never tells her, he is just her best friend and then he goes to her wedding and sits througfh it and for the rest of his life he is lonely. as for me: no love life i cant find any decent guys, just guys our age who are good to have fun with but thats about it. oh and yeah jim never told me bout pete until that night after he had called me and told me he was on his way up to our room. so yeah i slept with him again but im not feeling anything for him, im fine with it all: the way i see it, it was schoolies , ther eare no rules at schoolies so yeah and i just wanted sex on the last night. rest of schoolies was fucking excellent, the last night had the best vibes ever: at about 5 everyone in the islander was on the balconies and it just went off, sooo good, got me so pumped. ohhhhh back to goss:got trashed at mitch's christmas party: free booze and we had a fucking great time together. oi i miss jules so much too, no one down here parties properly: no one dances with me, i have been spending my nights out alone on the dance floor lol. ohhhhhhh biggewst goss ever, a chick got fired from work last night (you may have heard me talk about her: sammantha, like best employee and nicest girl ever) becvasue she has stolen over $10 000 over the last 11 months, holly fuck hey last person i would ever expect, just goes to show that we dont really know who people are, appearances can be every decieving. going to an 18th tonight after work, its gonna go off but i am sooooooo poor i literally have $11.80 to last me till tues. i keep getting fucked up and spending all my money on food yummmmm pie.